>>>Did he send these specs to you on April 1st?
>
>LO. No, believe it or not, he's serious. He's paying me to do the research. I'm trying to find a nice way to tell him.
>

Now, you actually could put a button on the users screen for "Help" and connect him to a help desk by phone and screen sharing instantly.

You could even (mostly) determine what app the user was working on by what the top-most app is.
You could then route the help desk call to a tech support person qualified in that product.

This kind of app is actually do-able.

You will also need a real time translator that will change the Indian help desk speech a bit.

"Good Day Sir or Madam, I am Rajiv, what have you broken?"
Becomes:
"How y'all doin? Let's see if we can't get that darned computer to behave."

"You need to reformat the machine"
Becomes:
"Hm... that is interesting, let me see if anybody else here knows more about this specific problem."

"NO SIR, there are no cupholders on a Dell computer!"
Becomes:
"We are sending a new cupholder that holds more cups than a mini-van."

Best,
Michael