>>Here's a couple. Please share if you have more. Those are one liner. I'd say insults where the person receiving can't reply back.
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>>Here goes.
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>>Your ideas as so good you should keep them to yourself.
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>>You know what after listening to you I'd say that your school days must have been pretty tough on you. (My favorite)
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>One beautiful sunny day, a Newfie is rowing his dory out on the Atlantic, singing away, "I'se the by that builds the boat, and I'se the by that sails her, I'se the by that catches the fish, and takes 'em home to Lizer".
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>Suddenly, a UFO zooms down from orbit, and hovers over the Newfie. Its purpose: investigate the intelligence of life on Earth. The primary research tool: an energy beam that temporarily suppresses intelligence.
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>The team on board dials it up to 10%, aims at the Newfie, and turns it on. There is no discernable effect: the Newfie is still merrily rowing away, singing "I'se the by that builds the boat, I'se the by that sails her...".
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>Clearly, stronger measures are needed. The team dials the beam power up to 50%. However, even with half his intelligence suppressed, the Newfie is still happily rowing away, singing "I'se the by that builds the boat...".
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>The alien scientific team is flummoxed. In their considerable experience, a 50% beam setting has no noticeable effect only on the most primitive, unintelligent life forms. They are left with no choice: they dial the beam power up to 100%.
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>The Newfie keeps rowing vigorously, singing "Alouette, gentille Alouette, Alouette, je te plumerai ..."

Not a one liner, but funny. Good one, Al.