>>Hi Neil,
>>
>>You are the first to identify the real problem, or at least the first to say so. True confessions time, then. I have been drunk all week. This is exactly what I was afraid would happen. I thought the motivation of working and making money again would be enough, but evidently not. The first two weeks went well. This week, off the wagon in a big way. I honestly have no explanation other than that it's a disease.
>>
>>I called my AA sponsor yesterday and he was drunker than me. He has gone back to old ways. He had been sober for a year.
>>
>>Reservations for the next two weeks are made. I am going to give it that long. If I can't get myself under control I will resign from the project and go back home. I was doing a lot better than this there. Many people, in AA and out, have told me my sobriety is the most important thing, more important than anything.
>>
>>The infuriating thing about it is I am happier sober.
>>
>>I do believe it's a disease but ask for no sympathy. People like Tamar and Tracy who kick my a** are what I need. The people I respect in my AA group back home are the same way.
>>
>
>Consider your a** kicked. Neil said it before I did, but I kind of guessed that was it.
>
>Get yourself to a bunch of meetings over the weekend and find another sponsor. Make sure you know where and when the Baton Rouge meetings are, as well. You can beat this.
>

I will go to meetings Saturday and Sunday with my old group, and find a new group here. I got all the meeting places from aa-batonrouge.org before arriving and have them on my computer. Was just arrogant enough to think I could get by without meetings, or drinking wine instead of vodka. Stupid. People have said again and again at meetings I have been to that relapses almost all happen the same way -- you think you can stop going to meetings and working on it. I hope I have learned my lesson.

I knew you knew when you didn't contact me on Tuesday. For those who don't know, Tamar has called or emailed me every Tuesday since last January. No matter what has been going on in her life, no matter how rude and obnoxious I have been. That says a lot about the kind of person she is.