Mike,

I know you don't want to hear it, but you do have some control over the drinking, or not.

I've had an uncurable cancer since my diagnosis in 1993. In 1996, my doctor told me I had, at most, five years to live. For now, I guess I'm still alive because I'm typing this response to you:)

Why am I still alive? In my opinion....I didn't give up by admitting defeat and start preparing for my death. I got involved in other things. I began tutoring and becoming a mentor to some kids. I became an ombudsman, watching over men and women in a local nursing home....making sure they weren't being mistreated.

In addition, something I know you don't want to hear.....I prayed to My God every day, sometimes many times.

I'm not going to get in a pi**ing contest whether there is a God or not. My choice to believe is personal, as is yours. But I do believe that you need someone to talk to 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to help you deal with your problems.....someone you know that cares about you and believes in you and wants to help you. Real, live people are not good enough because after they've tried to help you on many occasions and you let them down, they give up on you. Got doesn't, because he is in your heart/mind. The only way he gives up on you is if you deny his existence and stop asking him for the strength and help that you need to beat your disease.

I know there are many that do not believe and believe me when I say I've been there and done that. I thought I could make it on my own, but I found that I couldn't. There were times I came close to dying and there was no human around to help me. I didn't die, and I credit my faith and my belief that gave me the inner strength I needed in order to endure.

You have to admit that you can not go it alone.......................