The same thing happens with personal relations. I like many people here, I really do. I wish to be friendly with them. But as soon as I tell them that, they start treating me like dirt and it hurts a lot - I just can do nothing about it.

It is a general rule of thumb that people will respect and like you as much as you respect and like yourself. It seems to me that you conduct yourself as if you are wearing a sign that says "Please don't kick me". Of course, the sad truth about this is that it is the natural reaction of many people to do the opposite and when they do kick you, you get depressed and cry "but the sign says don't kick me".

If you can't develop a sense of self-worth on your own, maybe it is time to seek professional help. I do not say this to be mean. It is obvious to me that you are not very happy with your life and if you got some help, you could probabaly improve its quality.