>I was my own god for a long time. The most difficult thing about AA for me to accept has been the belief that I can't do it by myself. But sober people there say it over and over.
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>I still don't believe in god. But my mind has opened to the possibility.
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>OK, so you admit you can't to it by yourself. Some people are strong enough on their own to stop drinking/smoking, and some need help. Nothing at all wrong with asking for help - unless you seek out imaginary friends. If you're just waxing philosophically about "turning to god", fine...but if you're serious, it also means you're acknowledging that your actions aren't what count the most (or that they even count at all)

Part of me is still skeptical. But how can it hurt to try? What I have been doing has obviously not been working. I stay sober for a while and then I drink again. I need to be sober all the time.

There are a number of people in my group who were not believers when they came in. That gives me hope, as do people's statements that the higher power can be whatever you imagine it to be.

Complete change of subject. I am using my downtime (hopefully short lived) to immerse myself in SQL Server. My experience and knowledge are reasonable from having used it for several years. Now I would like to be an expert. Not as a DBA, not interested in that, just wanting to be a very good T-SQL application programmer. Any advice on areas to focus on?

Supplies all in place for the 4th?