Lady Astor to Winston Churchill : - “If you were my husband, I’d put arsenic in your coffee.”
Winston Churchill to Lady Astor : - “If I were your husband, I’d drink it!”...

Now THAT'S a good one! (it reminds me a bit of that Lockhorne's comic strip)


Here's another one....from the Foster Brooks chronicles...

"I was married twice....both of my wives died.
The first died from eating poisoned mushrooms
The second died from a fractured skull....she refused to eat her mushrooms"