You are soooooo bad!! (But pretty darn funny at the same time ... however, Mike might not think so).

~~Bonnie


>Mike, your last post was just too much...I've decided to resurrect MST3K...I'll call it MST_KG...with me, Katy and my smartest cat (Cosmo), instead of Mike, Servo,and Crow...
>
>
>Thanks. More of a smoking gun there than I remembered, or chose to remember. I really was out of it.
>
>K2: wait...Mike smoked? I thought Mike drank
>Cosmo: no, the woman who called the E.R. smokes, Mike drinks
>KG: You can still call the E.R. with one hand and smoke with the other, K2....
>K2: Thanks dad...want a beer or a smoke?
>
>Like I was not designed to move easily among my fellow citizens as so many people do.
>
>KG: I felt the same way when I first changed a diaper
>K2: Don't worry dad, some day you'll figure it out.
>Cosmo: Just like Mike will someday figure out how to make a post without talking about a chick's booty
>K2: Daddy's still learning that one, too
>
>
>Here is a case in point. I fell in love with a woman I met on the psych ward. Nuts, right?
>
>Cosmo: NO!!!
>K2: Really?
>KG: Get out
>Cosmo: They really should give him a lie detector test.
>
>
>I'd go after her at a party.
>
>K2: Daddy, isn't there some line about girls getting prettier when the bar hits closing time?
>Cosmo: How do you think you were born?
>
>
> My working theory was she was a new staffer embedded with the patients as a learning experience.
>
>KG: Did he say "working theory", or "working angle"?
>Cosmo: What's the difference?
>K2: About 3 beers
>
>
>she got us all going with a game that involved drawing pictures indicating a common phrase.
>
>KG: We used to have beer games in college like this
>K2: Daddy, what's college?
>Cosmo: Something you'll be in when your daddy turns 63
>KG: Thanks Cosmo.....
>
>
> She was AMAZING at it, both drawing and guessing.
>
>Cosmo: Wonder if she can walk and chew gum at the same time?
>K2: I'm only 6 months old and I'll bet I'm already smarter than this broad
>KG: I'll bet she smelled like cigarettes and juicy fruit and body odor and arpege
>
>
>Her brains and enthusiasm were infectious.
>
>KG: Just like H1N1
>
>
> When she made a particularly good play she would react with enthusiasm, lifting her hands over her head and shaking her booty.
>
>Cosmo: Just like when Chad Ochocinco scores a TD
>K2: Or when Daddy makes dinner without setting the kitchen on fire
>KG (to K2): Exactly what did mommy tell you?
>
>
>Two alleged nuts. Two rolling stones loose in the world, to steal my own stolen line.
>
>KG: (playing a guitar): "Hot rod hearts, Out on the mental ward tonight... "
>Cosmo: Do you think anyone actually remembers that song?
>K2: Just wait...in five minutes he'll be attempting to sing the Beatles
>
>
>When I was checked out we were eating dinner, the three of us around a table. Me, her, and her shelf organizing cohort. (A very hot blonde, and it's interesting how little that mattered).
>
>K2: The less said about this, the better
>Cosmo: This is starting to read like David Duchovny's diaries
>
>
> The nurse came in and said Mike, your ride is here. We all stood up. She grabbed me in a hug and held me tight. She was in typical ward attire -- NASA PJ bottoms and a forgettable top in her case
>
>Cosmo: Except he didn't forget
>K2: Isn't this how it all started?
>
>
>- but I think it was the sexiest hug I have ever felt. It was an "I like you" hug.
>
>K2: "Daddy, Grammy gives me "I like you hugs" all the time, what's the difference?"
>KG: Did Grammy have scotch for breakfast?
>Cosmo: K2, do you see the distinction?
>
>We already had our own private language going.
>
>K2: Daddy has a private language, but I can't figure it out
>Cosmo: What's that?
>K2: Something about every Democrat should take it up the a__
>
>
>Stupidly, I did not ask her for her phone number after the hug. So I will probably never see her again unless I scour the streets of Mundelein until I find her.
>
>KG: What's the over-under on Mike finding this woman's name?
>Cosmo: About the same over-under as the woman getting angry later