Level Extreme platform
Subscription
Corporate profile
Products & Services
Support
Legal
Français
Where's the parenting when you need it?
Message
From
13/01/2010 17:05:34
 
General information
Forum:
Family
Category:
Education
Miscellaneous
Thread ID:
01443440
Message ID:
01443833
Views:
31
>>>Since school is compulsary until age 16, and it's a public school (as far as I can tell), I'm with the parents. It doesn't hurt him or anyone else to have long hair. I can understand a policy of requiring hair below the collar to be pulled back or braided, but cutting is ridiculous. Our schools have dress codes, but many young men have long hair. I say, As long as the boy wishes it, Fight, fight, fight! :o) I guess that while he is missing out on the socialization aspect of school life, he is gaining by one-on-one instruction. I'd question whether or not that teacher is qualified to teach all subjects (a problem with many high school in-school suspensions) but at that age, probably so.
>>>
>>>OK, joking aside....there's a bit of a deeper issue here. Whether we're talking about the 70's', 80's, or today - teachers (elementary, middle school, high school) often say that one of the bigger distractions in school is kids going out of their way to be "different" in non-intellectual terms.
>>>
>>>I honestly think parents should take a harder line stance on their kids distinguishing themselves by how they think and perform in school, rather than by aspects of their appearance. When my daughter is 12, she'll be setting herself apart from others by cleverly quoting Aristotle - not because of her hair or clothes. If I had a son, I'd only let him have long hair if he also showed some depth.
>>
>>Good luck. By the time you're dealing with teens and pre-teens, you generally learn to choose your battles. Hair length (or color) is rarely important enough to be one of them.
>>
>>A simple rule goes a long way in those years: Nothing permanent. So grow your hair out or shave it or braid it, or grow a beard (well, not Katy, I hope <g>) or wear stupid t-shirts or go to school without a coat in winter; fine. Piercings (other than ears for girls), tattoos, etc. No way.
>>
>>Tamar
>
>Very scary when I agree with Tamar, but here I do.
>
>We laid down the law on my oldest boy (and the same will apply to the youngest) that hair can be his choice (up to some freakish point which he never approached), but tatoos and impalements were not allowed period. Find another home if he wanted them. If his friends showed up with impalements, they were fair game for my criticism too.

First, to give credit where credit is due, I think I picked up the "nothing permanent" line from Ted Roche.

The kids who hung out at our house mostly limited their experiments to hair and clothes, but a few didn't. One of Nathaniel's good friends was having trouble finding a job one summer. I looked him in the eye and suggested that the next time he had an interview, he leave the earring at home. He was surprised. Don't remember whether he did it or not.

The kids knew that when they came to our house, they'd get reasonable supervision, honesty, and cookies. What more could teens ask for? <s>

Tamar
Previous
Reply
Map
View

Click here to load this message in the networking platform