I know I will be OK. It's just hard right now. I'm not even going to watch hoops.

I will not try to off myself again. That is not going to happen.

Here is something I regret. I am not behind regret. I have been ignoring Tamar's emails for two weeks. Tamar has been emailing we every week for two years, every Tuesday. It has meant everything to me. She has a soul as big as the world. I can not even begin to express my gratitude.