Therefore, you'll need to enlist someone else to travel across the ocean to give you what appears to be an long overdue periorbital haematomaWell done on the local spelling of hematoma. Apart from that, if you really want to learn about black eyes, try Rugby.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8v-qZFVYnc&feature=related
"... They ne'er cared for us
yet: suffer us to famish, and their store-houses
crammed with grain; make edicts for usury, to
support usurers; repeal daily any wholesome act
established against the rich, and provide more
piercing statutes daily, to chain up and restrain
the poor. If the wars eat us not up, they will; and
there's all the love they bear us."
-- Shakespeare: Coriolanus, Act 1, scene 1
