>>>One of my favorites here in PA Dutch country, you finish dinner, the waitress comes up and asks, "will you be having desert then?". You should see the look on their faces when I say, "No, I'd rather have it now..."
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>>Here in Norway, the waiter always says "I hope the food tastes fine" when the food is served. I'm always tempted to say "So do I".
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>Here, at the end of the meal the server usually says, "Can I bring you anything else?" I'm tempted to reply, "No, absolutely nothing". Then, when she brings the bill, I would say, "But you said you weren't going to bring me anything else!".

I was in a restaurant with a friend and our waiter was a really good natured guy and we had a lot of fun with him. After we finished, he came by and asked if we wanted more coffee. I said, "I'm fine." He said, "I don't care how you are, I just want to know if you want any more coffee." Absolutely cracked me up. We gave him a good tip.

Try this. When you go to an "all you can eat" place and you're getting ready to leave and they bring the bill, say, "I'm not finished yet." When the waiter (for argument's sake) apologises and says he thought you were done, tell him that wasn't even close to all you can eat and you expect to be coming back for years.