Update : At first read I didn't read clearly enough that your 2nd example was killed. I have removed his introspective questions, as the introspective thoughts of the deceased are well above my paygrade.

Since I'm being fired at from all sides and am going on vacation I thought I'd wrap up my response in a single post. I've chosen yours because you seemed to take it the most personal and called me out the harshest.

>>Imagine if every single one of us embraced the concept

Please take note of the phrasing.

>>that everything that happens to you in life is your responsibility, your fault, your credit, your decision. If every single one of us went through life believing that everything we have, everything we screwed up everything we lost everything we gained was a result solely of the decisions and actions we did. Imagine how difficult that would be for most people. Because that means that every time something goes wrong in your life, you have to then blame yourself and you have to look inside yourself, and you have to be introspective.
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>Am I the only one here willing to say what total BS this idea is? We all have responsibility for what we do and don't do, but we are not responsible for (most of) the actions of others that affect our lives.

This is a personal concept based upon introspection, not an objective 3rd party's assignment of responsibility. The idea is not that everything that happens to us actually IS our own fault but rather that we approach it from that angle. I'll demonstrate through your examples.

>Marcia's example of the flowerpot falling on someone's head is perfect for that. Sure, you were there for whatever reasons, but you didn't put the flowerpot where it was nor fail to make it unable to fall off. The person who did those things shares responsibility for what happened to you (and I'd argue, in most cases, bears the bulk of the responsibility).

The person who put the flowerpot there WOULD accept responsibility. Upon evaluation they would question why they put the flowerpot in such a precarious position. If they bumped it, why they weren't more careful? The person walking would review the events of their day leading up to the event. Did they delay or speed up something, did they take a different route? Were they paying attention to their surroundings?

>The father of one of my grade school classmates was killed when he was walking down the street in downtown Philadelphia with his wife, and a piece fell off the building. Was he responsible for that? Hell, no. In this case, I find it hard to ascribe even a tiny percent of the blame to the victim.

This is not about assigning blame to others, it is about a globally accepted introspective approach to life. In this case, those involved in the falling piece of masonry would be questioning their materials, techniques and the quality of their work. Those who wrote the building code and zoning would re-examine their work to see what could be improved.

>One of my college professors was later killed driving on the PA Turnpike when a tire flew off a truck in front of him and came through his windshield. To the best of my knowledge, he wasn't speeding or tailgating, just driving normally. Was he responsible? Again, hell, no.

The truck driver would be examining his role. Did he put the tire on incorrectly? Did he hire a questionable shop to install his tires? Were the tires defective, if so, did he review them before purchase? Also if so, the tire manufacturers would examing the quality of their product and accept their role in the events.

>>If you go through life constantly believing that everything that happens to you is a result of your decisions then you place that on other people as well and you always expect the best effort from your fellow citizens.
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>Believing that not everything is your fault is not the same as believing that nothing is your fault. Much of what happens to us is our responsibility, but plenty of it is not.

I posted this as a concept piece. I was curious to the reaction it would draw. I expected it to be misapplied and for the 1 in a bizzillion examples to come, however, I honestly did not expect the personal level of vitriol it seems to have engendered and that's my fault. ;)

>Tamar

Merry Christmas All!