>>>Tamar advised me to set aside an hour a day to grieve for him. She has given me lots of good advice but I passed on that one. I am grieving for him plenty already without going out of my way to do so.
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>>Actually that wasn't quite what I said. I mentioned that I'd found the Jewish tradition of going to a service to say the kaddish helpful, in that it gave me a place and time that I could focus on my grief. It made it easier to put it away at other times when I needed to get things done.
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>>But fwiw, it's more than 2.5 years since my mother died, and I still often walk into the house, look at the answering machine, and expect to find a message from her.
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>I just double checked the email and you're right, you did not come right out and suggest I do that. You described the tradition and left me to draw my own conclusions.

And apparently, you drew a different conclusion than I intended. All I meant to suggest was that giving yourself a time and space devoted to grief might help you manage it.

Tamar