>A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
>surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
>pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
>chest.
>
>After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
>sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
>passed away."
>
>The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
>"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
>vet..
>
>"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
>you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
>He might just be in a coma or something."
>
>The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
>room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
>Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
>in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
>front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
>duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
>vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
>
>The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
>of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
>a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
>sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
>on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
>strolled out of the room.
>
>The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
>but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
>a dead duck."
>
>The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
>and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
>The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
>she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
>
>The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
>word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
>Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

LOL