>>I remember one time while hiking with my girlfriend in northern Alberta and out of nowhere came this huge brown bear charging us and was she mad. We must have been near one of her cubs. Anyway, if I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire I would not be here today.
>>
>>Just one shot to my grilfirend's knee cap was all it took...the bear got her and I was able to escape by just walking at a brisk pace.
>>
>>It's one of the best pistols in my collection.
>
>If you had had the foresight to always pick a girlfriend who was fat and slow (and, optimally, smelled like fish) this violence would not have been necessary.
>
>Not that I am discrediting your preparation bearing (you'll forgive the expression) arms. If Jesus would have had a gun, he'd be alive today.

unless being nailed to a cross spoils your drawing speed somewhat ;-)