>>>>>http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/31/magazine/get-yer-yeah-yeah-yeahs-out.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
>>>>>
>>>>>I have always shared everything here. It is no secret that I have a problem with alcohol. Lately it has been bad. Really bad. If you pray, please say a prayer for me. Even if you don't normally say prayers, please say a prayer.
>>>>
>>>>I don't know much about alcoholism but I do about depression. Here's what I would do to pick myself up if I was in a horrible rut:
>>>>
>>>>- Find a new TV series to watch on Netflix. Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Battlestar Galactica, Sons of Anarchy, and Firefly all come to mind. Having something to look forward to is a big help, and when I get hooked on a show I really look forward to watching the next episode.
>>>>
>>>>- Exercise. I don't know what your financial situation is, but I dropped a few hundred bucks on Farrell's Extreme Body Shaping earlier this year. It was a big adrenaline boost and I felt better overall after the 10 week boot camp. It was a good mix of boxing and strength training and was beginner-friendly. I made a few friends too but it wasn't really a social thing for me. Maybe find something you haven't done before, like biking or kayaking/fishing or something like that.
>>>>
>>>>- Find a project. Build a blog in ASP.NET using newer technologies and ideas. Learning something new is a big pick-me-up. I would be careful about this though because it makes it easy for you to isolate yourself.
>>>>
>>>>- Explore a new social group. There's lots of technology user groups around. Entrepreneurial meetups are starting to catch on. Go to a Ruby on Rails meeting to see how the other half lives. Maybe Agile groups? Barcamps have caught on here and they're pretty fun and actually have nothing to do with a bar. I know church isn't your think but the fellowship is amazing... maybe find a church-related group? In our area we have a church-affiliated outdoor group where men get together and hunt/fish/canoe/boat/etc. The people are generally very open and accepting and there's not many churchy things besides praying at meals.
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>>>>Don't know if this helps... hopefully it sparks an idea. It seems when you get in this state you post a lot about music. I know when I get depressed I sit in a dark room for hours and listen to music, reminisce, and spend hours on the web and that can't be healthy.
>>>

Do you consider drug dependencies a diesase?


>>>I didn't know that you have struggled with depression. I would not have guessed that. Clearly you have found ways to deal with it.
>>>
>>>Thank you for suggestions. I know they are all good ones. I just seem unable to take good advice. It's just that I don't know how to get out of it. I feel powerless. Alcoholism and depression that's a rough combination.
>>>
>>>One of the best members of this forum sent me an email after I attempted suicide for the second time, saying I am happy you are still alive but am furious with you for almost doing that to your daughters. It turned out her father was an alcoholic suicide. I vowed that it would never happen. And it hasn't.
>>
>>Not depression as much as social anxiety, and the social anxiety in general gets me down. It's something that can be controlled by I have to make the decision to control it, and adjust each time to find the right combo.
>>
>>When it gets bad I feel I need to push the reset button. It's not a minor detail - it's an active big decision. I'm not going to sit in a dark room. I'm not going to put myself in a situation that makes it easy to make bad decisions. I'm not saying "don't drink" - I'm saying analyze what situations put you in a place where you do drink, and don't put yourself in that situation. If it's caused by sitting on the internet for too long, use a timer. Actually use it. Follow it. You have free will and have the power to choose your action. If you can't control something, take a step back and control something further up in the chain. Hack your life.
>
>You have good coping mechanisms. Good for you.
>
>Alcohol is a tricky one. What people who are not afflicted by it sometimes don't understand is that it isn't a weakness, it's a disease. It has been defined as such by the AMA since the 1960s. People can and do live sober. One of the reasons I go to AA meetings, even though I don't agree with all parts of the philosophy, is to see people who are living sober. One of my favorites has to be pushing 80 and has been sober for something like 40 years. He was a school teacher in NYC, English. Usually he doesn't say much in meetings. "Glad to be here, glad to be sober today" is his usual comment. Last week there was a guy at his first meeting, 19 years old, and R. made an exception. He told about some pretty scary things that had happened to him when he was drinking. One thing I am grateful for is that I have not hit the bottoms some others have. Alcohol has caused all kinds of problems for me but I have never been in prison. I have never plowed into a car driving drunk, killing all the occupants. I have never fallen down the stairs drunk, shattering most of the bones in my face and leaving my eyeball by my mouth. Back to R., he was really on a roll. When he passed the discussion on to the lady next to him he said, "Now top that!" After the meeting I talked to the new guy -- I always compliment the young ones for seeking help early -- and said you don't know how rare that is from him. I hope he gets himself straightened out. Some of the young ones are court ordered to be there but he said no, I'm here voluntarily.
>
>Another myth about AA and alcoholism is that it is a man's disease. Not true. Sometimes a meeting consists of mostly men but often it is more like 50 50. The so-called "big book" was written in the 1930s and is full of sexist anachronisms. My very least favorite chapter is "To Wives," which unfortunately was the reading the other day. The alcoholic is not always the man.