>>>>>>>>http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/31/magazine/get-yer-yeah-yeah-yeahs-out.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>I have always shared everything here. It is no secret that I have a problem with alcohol. Lately it has been bad. Really bad. If you pray, please say a prayer for me. Even if you don't normally say prayers, please say a prayer.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>compromize: I won't pray but reccommend you getting a heavy bag to punch on or bow, arrow and target if you have space for that. At least get out with your dog more often - spend less time on UT chatter, but don't leave totally...
>>>>>>
>>>>>>It's funny because the guy I bought my house from had a punching bag in the basement. He took it with him. He was an ex-Marine who was permanently disabled from a work injury. He was one of the guys who made you glad we have the Marines on our side.
>>>>>
>>>>>well, then you you know the house won't fall on you. Give it and your body a try with different activation and hormone levels if you don't want to try for some zen and archery to get another thing to focus on. And when you are at ease with yourself again, look for nice women.
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Please don't take our nations' histories against us. I think the world is a much better place with the end of the Cold War. I know I have repeated my admiration of Professor Zelikow and Coirsera ad nauseum already. One of the best chapters is his analysis of Germany's rise to WW II and its causes. One of his key points is that Adolf Hitler has not so much a madman as a product of his times.
>>>>>
>>>>>??
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Well, that's what the professor said. Hitler was elected, after all. A lot of European countries don't like to remember parts of their past. Along with the U.S., of course.
>>>
>>>You do realize you are speaking in complete non-sequiters? See the Thomas's paragraph above ending in "look for a nice woman" and your reply beginning with "please don't take our nations' histories against us"
>>>
>>>STOP DRINKING NOW and call your sponsor.
>>
>>Charles, you are a very smart guy but maybe not as smart as you think you are. If nothing else you are mistaken about what I am doing today. I have to give you one thing, though. You have accomplished something others have probably considered, driving me away from the UT.
>
>If you don't see why the non sequiturs I pointed out above make it look like you're drunk then I am sorry, but I think the ?? in Thomas's reply was exactly addressing that.
>
>As to driving you away from UT, stop being a damn drama queen. When you are working the program and sober you are a nice person with both wit and sensitivity who is a real asset. That is who you really are. This maudlin, belligerent Mike is not your friend.

Guess what? I agree with everything you just said. I am a pretty good guy when sober. Drinking, another story. The trick is staying sober. People who don't have the disease sometimes don't understand that it is a disease, not a weakness. But people can and do manage to live sober. One of the things I like about AA is being around people who have been doing so for decades. And the interesting thing is they never stop worrying about relapsing. One of my favorite members, an ex-Marine, likes to say there is no graduation date.

I did intend to leave the UT this time but changed my mind. John Baird and others are probably having a merry chuckle about I wondered how long it would take him this time. That's OK. I don't need to isolate myself. I am too isolated already. Most of my friends live in other area codes. My neighbors are nice enough and I am on amicable chatting terms with all of them, but it is a subdivision of families and couples so that only goes so far.

This has been a bad stretch for me. That is no excuse for not making some changes for the better. In a memorable phrase from a book I read last year, unhappiness is a choice. (Lorrie Moore? I'm not positive about that).