>>>>Q2) Is it true that in an attempt to enforce "equality" the words him and her have been combined into a new word "hem" ?
>>>
>>>
>>>Years ago I proposed (in casual amongst family, friends, anyone who would listen whenever the issue came up) that the word "heir" be extended to have that meaning (to be used in a case meaning his / her / their). It already has that type of connotation, meaning an heir can be a him, a her (or even a them). :-)
>>>
>>>I often see things like this in documentation:
>>>When the user clicks the login button, s/he will find the main screen appears.
>>
>>I thought, and I even used, that they was used in cases where you want gender neutral statements "When the user clicks the login button, they will find the main screen appears"
>
>No, that's actually ungrammatical, though it's widely used. "He or she" is correct, though in your sense, you can avoid the problem entirely and make the sentence better <g>: "When the user clicks the login button, the main screen appears"
>
>General rule of strong writing is remove as much as you can, but no more.
>

You are correct that "they" is not grammatically correct there. In a technical sense. If you want to get anal about it. IMO the meaning is clear and in fact it saves words while avoiding gender assumptions.

I didn't know there is a general rule of strong writing. Some of the best writing in history has flown as free as a bird, line upon line. Brevity has its place. So does composition that sings.

When Emily was in 2nd grade she had a terrific teacher. This young woman was doing it for love of teaching, because they sure didn't make much money. She literally could have been making more money as a waitress. Every week the children were given a writing assignment which was read by a parent as well as the teacher. One week Emily was worried that she had broken a rule of grammar. In fact she had, and I told her the right grammar, but I also told her the first rule of writing is to make the reader want to keep reading more. You can break every rule in the book as long as you follow that one.

Now I am about to break a rule of parenthood, which is that you don't brag about your kids. It's a good rule and I almost always abide by it. This time I will make an exception. Emily's GPA spring semester, taking almost all engineering and math classes, was 3.90. She wants to go on an Engineers Without Borders water project in Tanzania over the holidays. It is a selective program, with grades a criteria, so she bore down. She makes my heart burst all the time, way more than if she had followed some script of my devising. She is way beyond me. As a devoted parent, despite all my personal failings, that makes me very happy.