>Thanks to all of you for your condolences.
>
>I had always thought the worst thing that could happen in life was to lose a child. I was wrong - losing a child to his own hand and my own gun is worse.
>
>My wife and our older son (my 26 year old stepson) are getting through this. It's minute by minute, but we are moving forward.
>
>We had a magnificent memorial service for him (the Boy Scouts participated - they were absolutely great), and we've spoken to many of his friends and teachers explaining what happened so nobody starts feeling guilty about anything they may have said or done.
>
>Michael was a bone/tissue/cornea/heart valve/etc.. donor. Because of the circumstances he could not be a major organ donor, but he has helped some people as a result.
>
>Now we just move on.

I am awake in the middle of the night once again. Recently I read that it is a normal human sleep pattern. People slept that way when we were an agrarian society, before so many of us went to work in offices early in the morning. According to a survey 80% of Americans don't get as much sleep as they think they need.

Please don't beat yourself up too much. Take your own advice and don't think it was because of something you said or did. It will eat you alive and compound the tragedy.

I have a constructive suggestion. Establish a foundation or charity in Michael's name. I will help. Others here will surely raise their hands as well.