>IDENTIFICATION DIVISION
>
>ENVIRONMENT DIVISION
>
>WORKING-STORAGE SECTION
>
>lol lol lol

That closely reflects the structure of serbian epic folk poetry, which always tends to have a long intro. Just when you're about to start considering whether you're bored enough, and maybe it would be a good time to sneak out, wham! Procedure section! The action actually begins! You get to enjoy the GOTO statements and jumping into middle of a loop as if the loop wasn't there, to run a piece of a routine as if it was your linear code, to have statements which will never execute, to do all the work for the compiler, to fix two things and reduce the number of compile errors from 205 to 72, fix a two more and come down to seven compile errors, fix one more and get sixteen... as a colleague said, "fuck [any] program shorter than 6 meters [when printed]".

But, OTOH, I had looked at the assembler version of a COBOL prg, and truth be told, it was tight and robust, almost as readable as the original. And it was fast. It was just pain to write, and more pain to maintain.