> You know how you miss someone more when they aren't there? That's what it's like.
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>I had a very strange a dream last night (regarding parenthood). First, I was in Michigan this week with one of my major clients, and flew back home late last night. Goes without saying I miss Katy when I'm away from home.
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>On the flight back, I remembered something I'd forgotten for years. Back in Feb 2005, I was on a flight home (ironically, also from Michigan), and there was a married couple with a little girl who had just turned 5. She was a really sweet and smart little girl, and I wound up talking to all three of them the entire flight. But was quite sad because at the time, rough circumstances made it seem impossible that I'd ever become a father.
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>Last night I had a dream that I was on a plane, with both Katy and that little girl from the flight 9 years ago. Someone tried to snatch Katy, and the little girl stood up and stood between Katy and the person who was trying to nab her. Go analyze that one :)
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>I have made a million mistakes, but the one thing I've done right was muster up the guts to become a parent and to try to stay a good one.

Yup. I know you are. Just keep doing what you're doing. It's a cliche but she will be gone before you know it.

This may be incorrect but I think in general girls/women are born more ready to be parents than we are. They are ready practically from birth. Guys approach it with trepidation, thinking they have no clue. It sure was that way for me. We find out that we are ready after all. Not bragging; they turn to me first when in distress.

Not quite true. They turn to each other first. I told them when they were little and fighting like siblings that they would be best friends some day. They didn't believe me. But they are. A couple of months ago Allie was going through some distress and called me. I did what I could, then called Emily and asked her to call her spinster.

Here is a pleasant memory. One day when Emily was little I walked into the small office on the first floor of our house in Chicago. She was on her hands and knees putting something behind the back post of the desk. "So Allie doesn't get it," she said.