>"Stay the hell away from Aunt Judy when she's been drinking."

A guy calls one for himself, one for the barman. Then a few couples more, just like that. When they both had about eight drinks and the guy is barely standing, the barman pulls the tab, calculates the amount and the guy confesses he's actually broke. Barman beats him and throws him out.

Next day that same guy walks into the bar, orders a drink and says "and none for you, you turn really nasty when you drink".