>>In addition to Dorris's comments, worth pointing out that our best understanding of the brain now says that the prefrontal cortex, where judgment and decision-making reside, doesn't complete development until the early 20's. IOW, the reason teens make bad choices is that the part of their brain where choices are made isn't finished yet.
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>>http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=141164708
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>You know the old line from the proverbial Analysis 101 class...So what?
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>Judgement...of what???? Of whatever action society would (after-the-fact) deem fitting for this theory, because the naked truth is too harsh?
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>Tamar, I think there's really one difference between, us, re: this topic. I could be wrong here, but I know enough about you to know you and your husband raised good kids who are now likely good adults (I believe you have two sons). You clearly took the responsibility seriously, and you didn't complicate their adult lives by oversimplifying their adolescent lives. And I'm quite confident that if the younger of the two sons cracked the older one's skull with a baseball bat over a silly debate, you wouldn't have bought into the excuse that, "But mom, I couldn't help it, my prefrontal cortex isn't developed yet!!!"
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>Same here in casa Goff.....my daughter gets a lesson in common sense, work ethic, and personal integrity nearly every day. Surely you'll agree that part of being a parent is not only teaching your kids what constitutes a smart choice, but also knowing when to avoid situations they're clearly not ready for/in over their heads. (A horribly tragic lesson that Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman were never taught). Sure, the best of kids will still screw up and parents often will have to help clean up the mess, but the good parents will use it as a hard lesson.
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>So why do I say there's one difference between us? Because I would never quote a theory that I didn't buy into in my own home. I think you are.
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>Do you think the families of the victims of Ethan Couch (the "affluenza" teen) would buy into the idea that Ethan's beer-soaked brain (three times the legal limit) just didn't have the goods in the prefrontal cortex? Go ahead and tell them...then I'll REALLY believe you buy into the theory!!!
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>Is there medical basis for what's in the book? I'm not a doctor and I don't have the first clue if it indeed is the "best understanding" . I also don't care. It changes nothing and absolves nothing. (Though it probably would explain the number of pot-smoking men in their mid-20's who are still living at home). <s>
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>I think you'd do well to remember what you've accomplished a parent, because you actually discredit it by giving credence to this.

Bill hit the nail on the head. My kids absolutely did some stupid things when they were teenagers (as I did before them). However, because of the foundation that we built in our home (and, no doubt, some sheer luck), the stupid things my kids did weren't the kind that changed their lives forever.

The context in which I commented was about teenagers getting pregnant, which is certainly a life-changing event. In the real world, we know that some teens are going to have sex. Both the hormones raging through their bodies and the not yet fully-formed judgment center ensure that. The role of the adults in their lives should be to ensure that if they make that bad choice (and yes, I think sex for kids under, say, 17 or 18 is a bad choice), they know how to make good choices around it in order to not have to live with that choice for their rest of their lives.

But the role of the broader society is to accept that some kids won't have the adults to teach them that or will ignore those adults (or will have birth control fail), and will get pregnant (or get someone pregnant) as teens, and to ensure that those teen's children suffer as few consequences as possible from the mistakes of their parents. We should do that because it's better for society as a whole.

In the big picture, my biggest issue around this area of teen responsibility (or irresponsibility) is the movement over the last couple of decades to charge younger and younger kids as adults in criminal trials. Everything we know scientifically (and yes, the scientific evidence on brain development is pretty overwhelming) says that, if anything, we should be going the other way. That'll never happen, but every time I hear about a 12-year-old or 14-year-old being charged as an adult, I mourn.

Tamar