>>>>I relapsed. I had been doing great. Today would have been 3 months sober for me, which is considered a sobriety milestone. I didn't quite make it. There must be something self destructive in me.
>>>>
>>>>Some of you may have noticed that I was happier and more content. I liked feeling that way.
>>>>
>>>>I told my daughters. I told my sponsor. (You're supposed to call before, not after, he said). I told a woman in the group who has been sober for 5 years and who I like a lot and who I thought might be my second wife. She is super smart, funny, and artistic; exactly the kind of woman I am drawn to. She was not pleased.
>>>>
>>>>Now I get back on the horse. It will be August instead of May.
>>>
>>>What do you usually drink when you relapse?
>>
>>Always vodka. It is the only thing I have had to drink in a long time. I'm sure it has been at least 20 years since I had a beer. I don't know why it is but a lot of alcoholics find their way to vodka eventually.
>>
>>I don't have any reason to think you have the problem. Be glad you don't. A beer or glass of wine or two is all most people want or need. For alcoholics a drink or two is just a start. We want about 10 more.
>>
>>The good news is a new prescription specifically says do not mix with alcohol on the label. I went to the doctor and got two pretty serious diagnoses. So I guess there is always a silver lining.
>
>No, I don't drink that often, and I've never really had alcoholism affect my life in any way. There were times that I had issues stopping once starting which led to self destructive behavior, but I suspect that was more just being young and stupid than having a real problem. I've really mellowed with age and it's been years since I've been sloppy drunk.
>
>It's always been a topic of curiosity for me. Do you just have a few drinks when you relapse, or do you drink until wasted?

I have also has this curiosity about alcoholism for some time. I think it started when I read one of the books of Susan Isaacs where she gives a very good description of how the person afflicted with such disease feels. Then when I read memoirs of almost every rock start, they talk about their problem(s) with alcohol and drugs. I think it is very bad that a person can never enjoy a glass of wine or beer. I think the same would be for people who have allergy to chocolate :).