>>Why IS it ok for men to tell women to 'Smile' all the time, yet rarely tell other men that? Is every man out there somehow the arbiter of women's attitudes?
>
>FWIW, we also need to stop telling our sons that "big boys don't cry." Same problem, actually.

I think you're stuck in a bit of a time-warp. "Big boys" are crying all over the place.

Athletes, soldiers, politicians, news anchors, Darth Vader...

This society has been telling little boys that it's ok to cry for a couple decades and we're seeing the results. Grown men are publicly blubbering like babies.
http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-shameless-male-crying-displays.html