>>>>
>>>>PS -- lay off Hugo. We need him more than he needs us.
>>>
>>>How so?
>>
>>He's a nice guy and you aren't. I guess that's a good trait in a Marine but you aren't a Marine any more. (I mention only in passing that the most respected member of my AA group is an ex-Marine who has been sober for over 30 years. He says you wouldn't have wanted to know me when I was still drinking).
>>
>
>You don't know me enough to say that. Ask the people who really know me. I just don't tolerate mealy mouthed morons, who'd rather talk behind your back, than say something directly to your face. With me, you will always know where you stand in the scheme of things with me, because I will tell you up front. I don't play psychological games with people and could care less if their feelings get hurt. Kevin and I have had our head-butts but Kevin also know's I'd give him the shirt off my back if he needed it.
>
>I've raised a ton of other people's children over the years, and have always had some down-on-his-luck-smuck living with me. So don't preach to me about not being nice. Begin nice wins you nothing but stabs in the back. There is a huge difference between being nice and standing up for your beliefs and rights. I"ve earned that right to bitch, because I gave the best years of my life to the military and this country. So "nice" people like Hugo can take a hike for I don't care about them.

I know where you're coming from re your mother. You have said that to me before and I always take it into account.

I apologize for being such a dick. At the moment my focus is on getting myself better. You would be amazed (or maybe not) how hard it is getting into a treatment facility even when your intentions are the best and you have health insurance. Right now I have four unreturned phone messages. It's like dealing with the post office.

What I like about both you and Kevin is that you give it to people straight. You will punch someone in the nose before you sugar coat things. Thanks, and be well. One of those phone messages will be returned and I am going in.

The thing that has me the most down right now is that I am on the outs with my daughter Emily. She is frustrated with me and says she doesn't want to have anything to do with me. We got into it on the phone a couple of days ago, which has almost never happened. She is a lot like me, only better. It really pissed my mom off when I said Emily is smarter than me. She really is. She is smarter, kiinder, better than me in every way. It is an axiom of AA that you have to do it first for yourself but the main thing I want is to gain back the respect of her and Allie.

http://emilylilliebeane.tumblr.com/

>
>To sum it up: 2 things. 1. A book by Judge Judy entitled, "Don't piss on my leg and try to convince me its raining". 2. If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask me the question, because the answer will not be sugar coated to make you feel better.
>
>Just remember, I watched my mother go from stone sober to stone dead in 3 years by drinking vodka. That's a huge effort to accomplish suicide. I've often wondered what our lives would have been like had she put that energy towards mothering us rather than a bottle of booze. So you can say all you want about rehab. I won't believe it till we don't see you here for 30 or more days.