>>In the next couple of days I will be going away for a while. On Monday I was again on the brink of suicide, the second time in three months. After staying sober for 59 days earlier this year the alcoholism and depression got bad again, to the point that I was sick of my miserable life. The woman who has been helping me out since I messed up my foot in June called to see how I was doing. I told her I was feeling suicidal. She called the police, which she said as a doctor she is obligated to do when someone threatens suicide. The police came, put me in an ambulance, and checked me into the hospital. I was still feeling very down but I'm glad they did. The doctors and nurses were terrific. (One thing you notice in a hospital is that the nurses do most of the work). I was under constant observation, even in the bathroom, in case I tried to do it again. I was there for a day and a half until they decided I was OK to leave, on the agreement that I go to rehab ASAP. I had to sign a document saying I would go to detox, which lasts 3-8 days, and then into a 28 day type of rehab program, then seek ongoing counseling. So I will now have a shrink. The doc said with you having both alcoholism and manic depression AA will not be enough, although I should continue going to that, too. I was given a list of local facilities. So after arranging for the bills to be paid and someone to look after my house I will be in treatment. In the next couple of days I will get myself admitted.
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>>It's about time. I have not done this before. If you're thinking I have been in denial about the seriousness of my problems that would be correct. I can't say I am looking forward to it, since one thing I hate is talking about my feelings, but where has that gotten me? I am 57 years old, meaning I don't have an unlimited time left if I keep it up. It really could kill me.
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>>Maybe the death of Robin Williams was a factor. My older daughter jumped down my throat for saying that. She said you didn't even know him; look in the mirror. Both my daughters are exasperated with me, which is new. That got my attention.
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>>I debated whether to post this. This is a tight community and I thought you deserved an explanation. I apologize for all the drunken messages I have posted here. You don't need to listen to that crap.
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>>For those of you who pray, don't be afraid to say one for me. If I do the things I should do and don't do the things I shouldn't do I have a chance to get things back on track.
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>Mike,
>First of all, you don't owe us an explanation. You don't owe us anything.
>
>Second, please get your head on straight. I have some career changes possibly going on in my life where I would be visiting your area a few times a year and I would like to sit down and have a meal with you. Not the drunken, weird, preachy you. The interesting, insightful, real you.

That would be great.