>>>>>>>I must've missed the election of you as Thread Sheriff... congrats...
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Now that was out of line. Jos was not enabling me, which is about the last thing I need. He just seems to have a little more understanding about the human condition than you do. Kill, kill, kill, kill them all is not a philosophy of life.
>>>>>
>>>>>Give me a break... I grew up without a mother because of her woe is me... which is the same as yours...... it was everybody elses fault. They made her drink... Grow up... I don't wish to kill anyone... however I will not tolerate moronic denials in the face of truth...
>>>>
>>>>Gosh, John, I wouldn't ask you to tolerate anything.
>>>>
>>>>I have many shortcomings, too numerous to count, but moronic is not one of them. So please treat me like a human being with a problem. Thanks.
>>>
>>>I didn't say YOU were moronic, only that your denials are. You keep talking about having a problem with the 3rd step. You're always going to find something you have a problem with and use that as your excuse, unless you cut to the chase and do what is required without talking about hard it is, how many things stand in the way of recovery, etc. Just do it.
>>
>>I don't think I will ever accept the 3rd step. I have tried and just can't believe it.
>>
>>It's not like I am anti-religious. It works for a lot of people and I do not claim to be right. I'm sure it would be comforting. It doesn't seem to work for me, that's all.
>
>So...you have no problem with #2 then?
>
>2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
>3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
>
>So, if you came to believe that a Power greater than yourself could restore you to sanity - what's the problem with turning your will/life over to said Higher Power (God as you understand him)? This does not imply "you must become religious", although I could see how some could think that. To me (and note the use of those words) it seems that you ARE looking for reason why it won't work instead of looking for ways to MAKE it work. Sorta reminds me of an ex-friend who would call me up looking for help in handling "how the men in the office" (including her boss) treated her. I would give her suggestions on how to handle it and the VERY first words out of her mouth would be telling me why my suggestion wouldn't work. I eventually told her to quit calling for my opinion/help and then not try anything. "I've tried nothing and it doesn't work! (sobsob)"
>
>Here's a suggestion: While you are waiting for a rehab slot to open up, why don't you see about going to a therapist for treatment of your depression? And if you don't think you're depressed, you ARE deluding yourself.

That is definitely part of the problem. It is a dual dependency program, meaning they address depression as well as addiction. But you probably knew that.