>If it's the former, I sense a major disconnect, and I'm going to give you some specifics of many aspects of the SQL community work (and to a lesser extent, the .NET and SharePoint communities).

I didn't see this in NY, but the PA .NET and SQL groups that meet in Malvern are excellent. I have no idea how the people who run those labs, etc. find the time to prepare for them and still make a living at a day job.