Redmond, WASH (AP) ---- In a stunning move today, Amazom.com acquired Microsoft Corp. for a stock swap estimated at $15 billion. Amazon, who currently has a market capitalization of $13.7 trillion, released through a spokesman the following statement "With the rapid decline in proprietary development languages, Microsoft was ripe to be acquired. We intend to strengthen Microsoft's core business in operating systems and divest it of it's loss leaders."

Many analysts had predicted a move by Amazon, Yahoo!, or PornNow! to acquire Microsoft, especially when the Windows2000 share of the server market fell to 15% (behind leader LINUX at 76%).

In a related note, the Visual Tools Division was sold to Computer Associates for an undisclosed amount. Industry pundits have joked that CA intends to run Visual Studio, the leading product in the acquisition, through its "MLWGSU (More Languages We Get to Screw Up) Division"

The U.S. Justice Department has decided to drop it's 3 year investigation into the company. One spokesman, wishing to remain anonymous, stated "We were after the wrong guys after all! Sorry, Mr. gates!"

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