>when using multiple forms how do i get one form to unload and set focus back to the main form and then later on have the main form reload this form. i have tried many different things and nothing seems to work right

Forms usually receive focus in reverse order of instanciation. If I need to launch another form from a form, I usually do this with a command button with a Do Form MyForm in the Click method. If I need to force the user to do something with the 2nd form before doing anything els, I make the 2nd form modal. Then, when the user closed the 2nd form, focus automatically returns to the calling form.