>If you wouldn't ever use deletemark, how about getting those deleted into a cursor and displaying in a separate grid for selection when "Commit" pressed.

I found a neat solution yo avoid accidentaly clicking the deletino column/mark: just cover it with a transparent shape. The following code in grid.init does the trick:

this.parent.addobject(this.name + "cover","shape")
with eval("this.parent." + this.name + "cover")
	.top = this.top
	.width = 18
	.left = this.left
	.height = this.height
	.BackStyle = 0
	.BorderStyle = 0
	.visible = .t.
endwith

This leaves me with the problem of keeping on the grid the deleted records without resorting to DELETED ON.

well, can't win them all.