LOL. Well I thought long if I had one similar and found many :) Some of them are just understandable as to be meant easily for a doctor while would be funny in a daily language context (ie: I natively interpret first as : Patient has chest pain, occurs with postural change, duration 1+ year). But I certainly don't believe some of them are "actual" MD notes (or mistyped).
Cetin
>A friend sent me the following...
>
>Actual Doctor's Notes --------------------
>These are doctors' notes on patients' charts (Actual notes - unedited!)
>
>1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
>2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
>3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
>4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
>5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
>6. Discharge status Alive but without permission.
>7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
>8. The patient refused an autopsy.
>9. The patient has no past history of suicides.
>10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
>11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
>12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
>13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
>14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
>15. She is numb from her toes down.
>16. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
>17. The skin was moist and dry.
>18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
>19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
>20. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (ouch!)
>21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her adult life, until she got a divorce.
>22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
>23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
>24. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
>25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
>26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
>27. Skin Somewhat pale but present.
>28. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
>29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
>30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
