Dale,

>>The possibility of positively influencing a generation is one of the reasons that I enjoy being a friend to teens, and taking time with them in one-on-one discussions whenever possible.
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>I would like to offer my opinion on the above statement. I would like to know what type of positive influence you're talking about. Do you mentor troubled teens, if not what type of kids do you mentor? What, generally, are their needs? What do you mean by "whenever possible"? Daily, weekly, monthly?

My primary emphasis was on the phrase "friend to teens", more than on mentoring. I see them as very different things. I have had a mentoring relationship maybe twice in the last 10 years (ongoing consistently over time, like talking briefly with them once a week and in-depth at least once a month) -- not including my own teenagers.

Being a friend to teens is a more informal thing, and could mean a 30-minute conversation with my daughter's friend while she's visiting, interaction with them while car-pooling to/from school activities, an on-line chat with a teen programmer, a few encouraging words to a teen after they gave a shaky drama performance, or spending an hour after church with a budding teen guitarist to jam and talk music.

In the context of most of those settings are opportunities to ask questions and listen, and therefore learn about their perspectives on life. It can be very revealing, and I take those opportunities as often as they present themselves.

I also am committed to an ongoing, long-term relationship with a group of about 40 teens in an Eastern European country, who represent the most amazing group of potential young leaders that I have ever met. I will visit them at least once a year for the next 10 years -- I've been there two years in a row so far.

With them, I have discussed the importance of each one discovering their talents and abilities, pursuing excellence in their studies, building their lives on solid foundations of honesty, integrity, etc., learning to stand on principle instead of blindly following the crowd, considering the amazing influence on the masses that just a few principled individuals can exert through excellence in their chosen professions. That kind of thing.

>K. Other. If so, please explain.

I've probably covered things pretty well above, but in general I like to ask questions, listen, give my perspective, and encourage them to think. For instance, I might say to a teen, "I'm curious about why you decided to start smoking. Could we talk about that?" Thus begins an exploration and exchange of ideas.

My observation from my experiences, is that most teens appreciate being able to discuss such topics with an adult other than their parents, if the adult values their opinions enough to listen and try to understand them.