I'm asking for a clarification of some rules that are, even John admits, difficult to pin down. You have told me what you thinkproper behavior is, and why it is necessary, but that is not my point. I have not said whether I think it is _right_ for someone to say one word, but not another. I will leave that up to them to decide.

And, yes, people do, in my world, have a right to be rude. I have a right to not listen, ignore, or whatever. What someone says can't hurt me unless I choose to be offended.

Frankly, the people who most affect me, who most make me want to be civil are those who just _are_. There are a few of them here.