Malcolm

I’m so very sorry that you are at this point in your life. It can be a difficult time. HOWEVER, it can also be a great opportunity.

First of all you need to make some time… like today…. To do some serious evaluation. You are at a very dangerous point and there are some pitfalls that can come up and bite you if you are not careful. A lot of depression, addiction, etc gets its start during difficult times like these. Do you need professional help? If not, at the very least you need to do a lot of serious talking to loved ones, clergy, or trusted (note that word trusted) friends. There really is no virtue in going it alone!

Secondly, you need to take all of the vacation and/or sick leave you can get your hands on and get away to clear your head. Also, now is probably not the best time to be making huge decisions. That can come when some clarity is gained.

You will need to do some serious evaluation as to how you got to this point. This is SO very important!! Please do not skip this step. Do you have a life outside of Fox programming? If not, why not? Was there something that you used to love to do and quit doing in the pursuit of the perfect FoxPro class code? Seriously, you need to have a life outside of work. So many of us men folk have a tendency to define ourselves by our work. What a mistake! We are so much more than our work!!!

Third… Do Not Panic!!!! Realize that you do have options. Often people suffering from burn out believe that they do not have any options. It simply is not true. If may “feel” that way but our “feelings” can betray us.

AND…. Do not beat yourself up for getting to this point in your life. It is OK! Lots of men gets there and never admit it. At least you have the courage to see it and seek out help. You are going to be fine!

I will be glad to talk further with you if you like. You can email me anytime!

Tom Gahagan
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