Some funnies from Dear Abby..... enjoy and laugh some today!

Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a
middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her
mid-twenties. These two women go every where together and
I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do
you think they could be Lebanese?
-Curious

Dear Abby,
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even
sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on
the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my
boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough
to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby,
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I
confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it
would never happen again.

Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was
raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get
out?

Dear Abby,
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour
every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank
until one night he came home sober.

Dear Abby,
Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little
gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't, and he
finally did it.

Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going
through her mental pause.

Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to
send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in
sex years ago and he IS a doctor.

Dear Abby,
My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I'd
like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you
think he'd like?
-Carol
Dear Carol,
Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie.

Dear Abby,
Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a
ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me,
can a baby this big be that early?
-Wondering
Dear Wondering,
The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it.

Dear Abby,
I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy-three and
he's still chasing women. Any suggestions?
- Annie
Dear Annie,
Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if he
ever caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it.

Dear Abby,
I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I
can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?
-Sam
Dear Sam,
Yes. Run for public office.

Dear Abby,
What inspires you most to write? - Ted
Dear Ted,
The Bureau of Internal Revenue.

Dear Abby,
I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man my
age with no bad habits.
- Rose
Dear Rose,
So would I.

Dear Abby,
What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
- Bess
Dear Bess,
Night and day.