There was a man who went into a bar. At the end of the bar there was a pirate drinking. So he stood next to the pirate and ordered a drink. Looking the pirate over he noticed that the pirate had a wooden leg. Asking the pirate how that happened, the pirate replied "Well the ship got scuttled and when he hit the water a shark bit the leg clean off". Well the man took another sip of his drink and asked the pirate if he did not mind being asked, "Just how did you get the hook where your right hand is supposed to be". The pirate said "It was a bloody battle and the opposing pirate chopped it clean off with a broadsword". Boy the man thought this guy is one tough cookie. So after another drink he asked the pirate one last question. How he got the eye patch. Well the pirate related that "One day he was looking up and a seagull pooped right into his eye". The man said "well that was sure nasty, but how could you lose and eye by a seagull just doing that?". The pirate said, "Well it was the day after he got the hook".

:)