Morning John,


>Considering that my reply was not meant as a ad, I don't see the relevance here.

Obviously so. <g>

>
>I do detect a little analogical reasoning on your part; my reply and and and ad for services being one and the same.

Nope.. Completely missed my point. Well, you're actually closer than before.

Here's what I was trying to convey to you. You just recently got an earful from someone where you (clearly IMO) did not do anything to deserve. IOW, were attacked without justification.

Why?

There are reasons (usually) that these kinds of things happen. When they happen over and over again I'd think it safe to say that there are resons.

What could those reasons be? Here are a couple that I think bear on this subject:

1) People are just plain mean.
2) People have been 'trained' to expect a certain kind of attitude and reflexively are responding.

You got unfairly 'slimed'. Why? People expect you to be argumentative and respond without thought.

Why?

They have been trained to expect that this will be their best response.

Why?

You have trained them that way. IOW, you have 'marketed' (packaged for consumption) yourself in such a fashion that people expect to see you in this light.

Who has control over that image?

You do.

If you don't like the garbage, then do some image enhancement.

Why did I even bother to send you a message to try and pique your interest.

If you can't figure that out then you truly do not "get it."

I hope that you do indeed 'get it.'


>
>Let's go down that road for a second...
>
>My aim is not to target the dyed in the wool VFP developer. My aim is to work with and help those that need to make a transition.

Sure, but I think you'd be better served to say that plainly. This is the first time I can recall you stating this so plainly. I would also suggest that you think about the impact of the word 'need' in the contect of your last sentence. I'd suggest using the word "wish' or "want to' in order to avoid people confusing things. Stated the way you stated your sentence people could interpret it as you dewtermining for them that they 'need' to change. Perhaps they do not 'want' to change and they interpret your choice of words incorrectly?

Now, you may be sbsolutely correct in your thought process. VFP may be on the way out and you may be so far out in front in your thinking that this is crystal clear to you. Others may or may not agree with you. Still, if you see things this clearly and it is your desire to help others 'see the light' you will fail miserably if you do not convers oat the level of thise to whom you wish to speak.

Speaking a group of Portugese-speaking people in Arabic isn't typically going to help them a whole lot. <g> You may be very proud of your Arabic-speaking capabilities but they do no good to your listener unless you translate to their language.


The use (or misuse) of words in sentences like this is IMO a great source of your trouble and why you have been accused of being so egotistical. When anyone goes around telling others how they should think they will almost always react this way. There really is a difference between persuasion (marketing) and arbitrary assertions. People need to think they have come to their conclusions and we all need to be willing to take the time to do our best to help them see things our way. There's absolutely nothing wrong IMO in a great, heated, healthy debate - as long as people feel and think that others respect their right to their own opinions/thoughts. When they think/feel that somone else is removing their right to think for themselves they tend to get a little resentful.

>
>I have zero ill-will toward those that believe VFP is the single best tool on the market. I would expect those people to have zero ill-will toward me because I happen to think it is not...

I understand this John. You have every right to expect that others should react without animus but if you think that this expectation is an accurate observation of human nature you are mistaken; sadly. Each of us needs to take extra care that we work to overcome these nasty traits we all have.

>
>Lack of tolerance, that is how I characterize it. Those who disagree are automatically labeled a heretic, spewing venom and hostility.

Nonsense - and contradictory with your just-prior statement. How can you on one hand expect people to react without preconceived notions and immediately follow that statement with one asserting that you expect them to do that which you just asserted you didn't expect them to so do. That is, unless you are expressing a severe dissapointment in others based on your own assumptions. Perhaps others have picked up on your low expectations of them and, well, kind of resent it. Most folks that I know greatly resent having someone else have such a pre-judged attitude towards them.

>
>In your reply, you couched your comment with the word overt. Even you think there was a tinge of hostility, when in reality, there was not. Still, if that is your opinion, you are entitled to it..

Well, I think you are internally conflicted based on what I just explained.

Do you expect others to be adult and to know what they need and when they need it, development-wise? If so, then just accept them that way and help them when thay ask.

If not, and you think they don't know what they need, that's fine but state so plainly. However, understand that you have placed yourself in the conflict, not those to whom you are conversing. Do not be surprised when they react in a normal fashion.

I think this is why folks have tended to see you as something of a lightning rod over these issues and my statement (below) was a tongue-in-cheek attempt to point out that you aand you alone are responsible for the way others 'see' you; as am I.

You need to take responsibility for your image. That's all.

>
>
>>I did not detect any overt (or other types) hostility in your posts. However, if I were a business and had this kind of reaction to my new ads I'd want to revisit my marketing department to determine that they were accuratly representing my view.
>>
>>Ahem... <g>
>>
>>Best,
>>
>>DD

Best,

DD