>Top 40 Things You Would NEVER Hear a Southerner Say
>
>40. "Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight."
>39. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
>38. Duct tape won't fix that.
>37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
>36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
>35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
>34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
>33. You can't feed that to the dog.
>32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
>31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
>30. Wrasslin's fake.
>29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
>28. We're vegetarians.
>27. Do you think my hair is too big?
>26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
>25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
>24. Who's Richard Petty?
>23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
>22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
>21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
>20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
>19. Trim the fat off that steak.
>18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
>17. The tires on that truck are too big.
>16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
>15. I've got it all on the C drive.
>14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
>13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
>12. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
>11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
>10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
>9. Checkmate.
>8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
>7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
>6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
>5. I don't have a favorite college team.
>4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
>3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
>2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
>
>And The Number 1 Thing You Would Never Hear A Southerner Say:
>1. Elvis who?

ROFLMAO, Tom