I was thinking about some wine this evening. But I think you've changed my mind.

PF

>If Operating Systems were beers:
>
>DOS Beer:
>Required you to use your own can opener, and required you to read the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8-oz. can, a few years later a 16-oz. can was offered. However, the 16 oz. can was divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which had to be accessed separately. The product has been discontinued several years ago, but still some occasional drinkers are still using it.
>
>Mac Beer:
>At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.
>
>Windows 3.1 Beer:
>The world's most popular for years. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality you can only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking the Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for apparently no reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.
>
>OS/2 Beer:
>Came in a 32-oz can. Did allow you to drink several DOS beers simultaneously. Allowed you to drink Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously too, but somewhat slower. Advertised that its cans won't explode when you open them, even if you shake them up. You never really see anyone drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer Manufacturing) claims that 9 million six-packs have been sold.
>
>Unix Beer:
>Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8, 16, 32 or 64 oz. Drinkers of Unix Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even though they claim that all the different brands taste almost identical. Sometimes the pop-tops break off when you try to open them, so you have to have your own can opener and a complete set of instructions, or a friend who has been drinking Unix Beer for several years. Research has shown that despite the lack of support from popular bars and supermarkets, Unix has been popular for many years and can be expected to remain popular, especially amongst scientists and heavy drinkers who brew their own.
>
>VMS Beer:
>Requires minimal user interaction, except for popping the top and sipping. However cans have been known to to explode occasionally, or contain extremely un-beer-like contents. Best drunk in high pressure development environments. When you call the manufacturer for the list of ingredients, you're told that it's proprietary and referred to an unknown listing in the manuals published by the FDA. Rumors are that this was once listed in the Physicians' Desk Reference as a tranquilizer, but no one can claim to have actually seen it. The manufacurer has recently changed the brand name to Solaris, but none of the popular bars or supermarkets are selling it anymore. If you have a high blood pressure, you might still be able to find a discount copy at your liquor store.
>
>Windows 95/98/ME Beer:
>The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but tastes more like Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when you look inside, the cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most regular drinkers continued drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until their friends tried the latest 16 oz. Windows Beer and said they like it. The ingredients list, when you look at the small print, has some of the same ingredients that come in Windows 3.1 Beer and the cans are known to explode occasionally, even though the manufacturer claims that this is an entirely new brew.
>
>Windows NT Beer:
>Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truckload. This causes most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. Initially the can looked just like Windows 3.1 Beer's, but soon after Windows 3.1 beer was discontinued the company changed the can to look just like Windows 95 Beer's. Touted as an "industrial strength" beer, and recommended only for use in bars. Most important, the CIA have investigated the product and have reported that it is safe for government use, the risk of NT beer cans exploding is well below the
>acceptable level.
>
>Linux Beer:
>This relatively new product is based on the public recepy for Unix Beer. Reportedly, this is a very powerfull beer, brewed at many places and distributed in various well designed types of cans. The most remarkable thing about Linux Beer is that it is supposed to be free. In fact, a fee is usually required to get a can of it and you do need to setup an empty refrigerator to get a taste of this kind of beer.
>
>Windows 2000 Beer:
>This latest release of MicroSoft Beer basically is a redesigned can for the Windows NT beer, which was released to celebrate the millenium. The ingedients list clearly states the contents are Windows NT Beer, version 5.0. Reports are that in some rare cases, a single Windows 2000 beer can explode for no appearant reason, taking out half of the refrigerator.
>
>Windows.Net Beer
>This is an advertized future release of MicroSoft Beer, to be released next year. The manufacturer claims that the Windows.Net Beer can will include a new universal CLI can opener you can use on other manufacturer's cans. They also claim that using their new brewery, you can brew your own beer and sell it using internet, therefore there wil be no more need to go to a supermarket, liquor store or bar to meet your friends and get drunk. Our research team concluded that very little is know about the announced Windows.Net product, but research has shown that you would need a new kind of computer and modem to accomplish this, not a new can.
>
>The original thread for this comparison came from wcern@primenet.com, several people have added to it over the years...