>>contact an Intellectual Property lawyer
>
>Is there really such a beast? Wow. I sound sarchastic but actually I'm interested in knowing... What are they, how/what do they do for you?

Yes John they exist.

They'll tell you if you've got the intellectual property on something you're doing depending on if you did or did'nt make a contract for example. In my case they helped me figure out who owns something I did without having a contract