Perry,

Heavens, no. I'm am not this creative.

Regards,

Jim E.

>James,
>
>I just have to ask...Did you come up with this list yourself?
>
>PF
>
>>A lot of user-interface implementations I have reviewed have been cumbersome and hard to understand. We should take a hint from the consumer products industry and make out interfaces truely user-friendly.
>>
>>Here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
>>
>>On Sears hairdryer:
>>"Do not use while sleeping."
>>(Gee, that's the only time I have to do my hair.)
>>
>>On a bag of Fritos:
>>"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
>>(The shoplifter special.)
>>
>>On a bar of Dial soap:
>>"Directions: Use like regular soap."
>>(And that would be. . . how . . .?)
>>
>>On some Swann frozen dinners:
>>"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
>>(But it's *just* a suggestion.)
>>
>>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
>>"Do not turn upside down."
>>(Too late!)
>>
>>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
>>"Product will be hot after heating."
>>(And night follows day . . . )
>>
>>On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
>>"Do not iron clothes on body."
>>(But wouldn't this save a lot of time?)
>>
>>On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
>>"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this
>>medication."
>>(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents
>>if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off
>>those forklifts.)
>>
>>On Nytol Sleep Aid:
>>"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
>>(One would hope.)
>>
>>On a brand of Christmas lights:
>>"For indoor or outdoor use only."
>>(As opposed to what other kind of use?)
>>
>>On a Japanese-made food processor:
>>"Not to be used for the other use."
>>(I gotta admit, I'm dying of curiosity.)
>>
>>On Sainsbury's peanuts:
>>"Warning: contains nuts."
>>(Talk about a newsflash.)
>>
>>On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
>>"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
>>(Step 3: Fly Delta.)
>>
>>On a Swedish chainsaw:
>>"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
>>(Was there a spate of this happening somewhere?)
>>
>>Regards,