To: Technical Support
Subject: Software Problems

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space
and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the
product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other
programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all
other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken
Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the
system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background
while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am
thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not
work on this program.

Can you help me, please!!! Thanks, Joe

Reply -
Dear Joe:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still
convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system
would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It
is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the
system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife
1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0
or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.

Look in your manual under "Warnings/ Alimony/Child Support." I recommend
you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0
installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section
regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of
their cause.

The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In
any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you will
have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return
to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for
all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying
additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend
Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for
Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating
system.

Best of luck. Tech Support.