Occasionally, among normal people, you find well meaning but naive people who cannot distinguish between their cranial cavity and their anal cavity. Due to the influence of the news media, Hollywood and liberal politicians, we are encountering more of these types and sometimes it is unavoidable to converse with them. This short training information may be of benefit if you find yourself cornered while at Starbucks or the Art Museum:


(1) If you are told during a conversation that military retaliation is inappropriate to current events because it would not solve anything and would just cause more innocent deaths and inspire more violence, punch the person in the face.

(2) When the person gets up to punch you back, point out that it would be a useless mistake, would not change your opinions and would be contrary to his values because he would just be escalating the violence.

(3) If he agrees, punch him again, much harder this time.

(4) Repeat steps 2 and 3 until the person understands that sometimes it is necessary to punch back.