Dear Mr McNeish,

This Hawaiian shirt and goatee problem is not unique to yourself. This ahs been reported by many Webconnect users. The solution that I have found to work well for me is to be sure I am wearing a shirt with a pocket and pocket protector full of pens whenever I use Webconnect. It does not fully prevent the Hawiian shirt problem but it does cause the shirt to have a pocket protector with pens in it.

Now for the goatee, it is very helpful to have a bottle of Nair handy whenever working with webconnect. One of those short wide bottles is best. You can place it on a small box in front of your keyboard and keep you chin in the nair all the while working. This does not prevent the goatee but it does remove it qucikly and it gives your chin an obnoxious oder that repells most women immediately (a clothespin on your wife's nose will help her to better tollerate the order).