>It is the year 2002 and Noah lives in the United States. The Lord speaks to
>Noah and says: "In one year I am going to make it rain and cover the whole
>earth with water until all is destroyed. But I want you to save the
>righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth.
>Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark." In a flash of lightning,
>God delivered the specifications for an Ark. Fearful and trembling, Noah
>took the plans and agreed to build the Ark.
>
>"Remember," said the Lord, "You must complete the Ark and bring everything
>aboard in one year."
>
>Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the earth and all the
>seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw Noah sitting in his front
>yard weeping. "Noah!" he shouted. "Where is the Ark?"
>
>"Lord please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best but there were big
>problems.
>
>"First, I had to get a permit for construction and your plans did not comply
>with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans.
>
>"Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a fire
>sprinkler system and floatation devices. Then my neighbor objected, claiming
>I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I
>had to get a variance from the city planning commission.
>
>"I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on
>cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S.
>Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls. However, the Fish
>and Wildlife Service won't let me catch any owls. So, no owls.
>
>"The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a
>settlement with the National Labor Union. Now I have 16 carpenters on the
>Ark, but still no owls.
>
>"When I started rounding up the other animals, I got sued by an animal
>rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard.
>
>"Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not
>complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your
>proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no
>jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe.
>
>"Then the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed new flood
>plain. I sent them a globe.
>
>"Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal
>Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not
>taking godless, unbelieving people aboard!
>
>"The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in
>preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice
>from the State that I owe some kind of user tax and failed to register the
>Ark as a recreational water craft."
>
>"Finally the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further
>construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is
>a religious event and therefore unconstitutional.
>
>"I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another 5 or 6 years!" Noah
>wailed.
>
>The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to calm. A
>rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully.
>
>"You mean you are not going to destroy the earth, Lord?"
>
>"No," said the Lord sadly. "The government already has."


I don't know if I should laugh or cry.... it is funny though!
JLK