On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy
and go to the thermometer section.
You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made
by "Q-tip." Be very sure that you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes,
and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed
during your therapy.

Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat
suit and lie down on your bed.

Open the package and remove the thermometer.

Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will
not become chipped or broken.

Take out the written material that accompanies the
thermometer and read it.

You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

"Every rectal thermometer made by Q-tip is personally
tested."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,

"I am so glad I do not work in quality control at the
Q-tip Company."