I can certainly sympathize Michael. I spent many years when my daughter was younger working all day and then working at home at night or even going in to the office to work at night (sometimes bringing her in with me). My daughter is now 11 (still very young) and I try VERY HARD NOT to do that. After my divorce, I quit my job of 7 years because of it and got a new job with my current employer with the stipulation that I would not have to travel except for periodic training and I would be home everynight to be with my daughter. Well, that lasted for just over a year. After the 1st year little by little I now get the snide remarks and sly looks as I walk out the door at 5:30pm everyday. I now get the 'business requirements change' speech periodically and requests to travel to SC to visit customers on a regular basis. I have stuck to my guns and restated my employment agreement on many occasions. Little good it does. Somehow now people view it as 'special treatment.' I will probably be making another 'career decision based on my family life' in the nearterm if things keep up. No matter that I have to bring work home at night to get it done to meet deadlines--that work is not 'seen' by everyone so it does not really exist in their eyes. It can be very frustrating. This is a good paying field but the sacrifices can be tremendous-especially if you are a single parent as I am. My daughter's father lives 2.5 hours away and even so is now living in Afghanistan for the next year as a civilian working for our government so he is unavailable to cover if I have to work late or even travel. I have no family that lives in this part of the country and all of my ex-husband's family work all hours too so they cannot help out if I am gone. I love to program - I really enjoy it. However, nothing will prevent me from spending time with my daughter no matter if I enjoy it or not. She will not be young and at home forever. If it came to pass that I could not program and be home at nights with my daughter, well you'd see me knocking at Walmart's door for a job that same day. I gave up a high-paying position as a WAN Network Manager and Information Systems Security Manager for that very reason and have not regretted it once. Until I quit that position I spent every New Years Eve at work and most nights and weekends. No amount of money makes up for being away from your family. I spent many years in the military as an interrogator and I was gone and working days and nights continously. I could not have that job and have a family so I left. I will make whatever changes are required as long as I have a child.



>Can I hear an amen.
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>I live for my family. I see people, my boss for one, who works his 8-10 hours at the office and then goes home for 6 or so more. When he goes out of town with his wife, she drives so he can code. Get real. He works every weekend and holidays.
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>This world was a much better place when you worked your 8 and went home to become a human again and you produce a product you felt good about. I give a crap about software. I do it because it comes easy and pays the bills. I used to feel quilty when I left the office a 5 straight up and got those looks from the corner office. Now I don't care. Greeting at Wal-Mart looks attractive somedays.
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>I was a cattle raiser until my first wife took care of that deal. That is another story. I'd give a kidney to be back in that line of work. Answered to nobody.
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>I used to be a narcortics agent for the state ( 7 years of that and before that 4 years a state trooper ). I quit that to make more money so I could provide better for my family. I used to complain about being gone all the time 4-5 days a month I had to travel out of town overnight. I see them less now then I did then because I am mentally elsewhere half the time. I never brought my job home before, now I find myself in front of the tv with my laptop or preoccupied with some issue at work and miss half the conversations at home. I am getting sick of it. I am suppose to spend my time at home learning new stuff. Bull__it. I have a life.
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>I don't have a computer at home and will not get one. When I am not at work I don't anything to do with computers. I don't allow my kids to go online. They are learning to read and think. I read an article where some high school girl took an English exam and wrote her essay in text messaging and was upset because she flunked.
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>This industry is only going to get worse in my opinion. I think they should outlaw cell phones as well. We did fine without them last 100 years. I turned mine off at Christmas so people cannot find me anymore. Basically my attitude sucks and I don't see it getting better anytine soon.
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>There, I have vented. Back to work.